A much needed update!

I guess I let things slip around here! Seems that life is constantly getting in the way...and in the craziness of living that life I get too exhausted to write about it! Just last night I was watching a movie with a friend of mine, it was an adaption of a novel I'd already read. Much to my dismay it had sub-titles and while I'm not opposed to sub-titles...well, I'd already read the book and I was too tired to read the movie as well!

I received an email from an old friend yesterday and my response to him really was an honest account of life in the past few months.

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Hey you,

I always smile when I see your emails in my inbox! Makes me remember that spring in Vancouver & Victoria and laugh at the craziness of it all. Feels like a lifetime ago!

Life here in Ottawa is good…busy, but good. The boys are well and growing so fast I sometimes have to take a step back from the chaos and just take it all in. Jacob (oldest) is in hockey this year and it seems like my Saturday and Sunday mornings (at 6am!) are spent in cold hockey arenas. I look forward to the warmer months when we’re playing soccer and baseball in the sun!

Work is going well…some struggles (as in I wish I could win millions and not have to work) and I find myself struggling to find my place in the world and do something that truly makes me happy. While I am confident that I will get to that place sometime soon…it is sometimes hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Andrew is still in Toronto and still looking for a job here. Our hope is to have him here by summer…but no holding my breath!

Sorry to hear of issues with your ex still…my issues as well continue but I hope to see them resolved soon.

We did just book a trip to Cuba and leave the 5th of February for 7 wonderful days…I can already feel the sun on my face and the sand on my toes. And of course the drink in my hand!

One of these days I will get back out west…I think I say that every time we email, but it will happen one day!

Take care.

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In re-reading my response to my friend it makes me see that perhaps I'm not as happy with my current life-situation as I let on. For some reason I have been finding it increasingly harder to just "roll with the punches" as I have always done in the past. I can't quite pin-point what it is precisely...I just hope to be able to figure it out soon!

First Day of School

I always find the first day of school exciting. I did, even as a child (and I was never a fan of school to begin with) but the first day is exciting. Finding out who your teacher is, who is in your class, carrying your new backpack, picking out the right outfit for the first day...that is exciting stuff! Except I'm a girl and apparently only girls get excited about picking out an outfit for the first day of school...go figure! The added excitement was that all three boys are starting at a brand new school...they just finished building it on Friday! I am happy because it's SO much closer than their old school and the boys are happy because it's so close to my work that I can now drop them off and pick them up....EVERY DAY! I guess it's the small things when you're a kid...

So today it was J and C's turn. J couldn't have cared less...he wanted to go back to sleep and then put his bathing suit on and go for a boat ride. C on the other hand, flew out of bed, had his teeth brushed, hair done, bed made and himself dressed in the length of time it took me to open my eyes and put my feet on the floor.

We got to the school and realized that they already have friends in each of their classes (their father would say it's their step-sisters...I'm not there yet so we're sticking with friends) and while it's nice to know that each of the boys knows at least one person in their class we had been hoping that they could have been in separate classes as the kids already spend so much time together as it is and they just need a break from each other.

So here we go...another new school year, another year older, another grade older. I held up like a trooper and am proud to say there were no tears on my part today...or at least not until I got back to the car!

Happy Birthday Baby!

Today Jacob turns 8. It's kind of crazy to think about having an 8 year old! 8 years ago I don't think I really thought about having an 8 year old. In all reality at the time, I probably didn't think much past the baby's next feeding, next diaper change or how engorged I was. But today he's 8...and yet all those new baby concerns feel like only days ago, I still remember them all so clearly.

Of course this year J's birthday falls on a "daddy day" and I was a bit concerned that I wouldn't get to talk to him today because his father is always so great about letting me talk to the boys when they are with him. But this morning he called me, all he said was "Hi" and I knew what he was waiting for. I wished him happy birthday and then again he was silent. I asked him if he was ok and in his usual J manner said "yup" I knew what he was going to ask because he asks the same thing every year on his birthday, just normally he's with me for that day. A few more moments of silence and then we had this conversation:

J: Mom, tell me what time I was born at?
Me: 5:26am
J: in the morning?
Me: yes, in the morning!
J: Tell me how long you were awake for before I was born?
Me: the whole day before and the whole night before.
J: Tell me who was there
Me: well, everybody. Everybody was so excited to meet you that they all waiting at the hospital with me until you got here. Daddy was there. Grammie and Poppa, Sissy, Nanna and Grandpa. Even Dr. Millar stayed all night just to meet you.
J: how happy were you when I finally was born?
Me: J, mommy was so happy that she thought her heart was going to explode with happy.

Every year on the boys birthdays I tell them the story of the day they were born and we look at pictures of when they were babies. I figured with J being at his dad's and being an 8 year old boy he would probably just forget, I mean really...how many times does a kid want to hear the same story??? But I guess he likes hearing "his story" as much as I like telling it. Telling a story about the day your world changed forever is a great thing to be able to tell...it's even more amazing when someone else wants to hear it just as much.

Happy Birthday Jacob, mommy loves you.

Vacation - Day 6

Our last full day of vacation...it's amazing how quickly a week of vacation goes by. A week of work? That drags on forever! A week of spending time with your children? Files by before you even know it!

We had been debating on what to do for our last day of vacation...we are trying to not spend too much money but at the same time A and I really wanted to make it a great week for the boys. After getting some bad news on Wednesday evening we decided to just go for it and make the most of our time in Toronto. So another morning up bright and early and we headed out to Wonderland.

There is SO much that I could write about this day but I'm still not sure how to really put into words this day in particular. This day (for me anyways) ended up being so much more than just a really fun day at an amusement park...this day we felt like a real family for the first time ever. I didn't feel like we were playing family, we just were one. And so our day at Wonderland was fun, and I have tons of great memories of the boys playing at the HUGE waterpark, going on rollercoasters and doing a mini bungee jump. But I have even better memories of us as a family and those memories are impossible to photograph or put into a creative story...it is a day that I will treasure forever.

Vacation - Day 5

If you know me (and my boys) you know that I make a point of never making plans early in the morning unless absolutely necessary. Mainly because we are not morning people, by that I mean none of us are horribly pleasant before 9am...and lots of caffeine!

However, today as an exception we headed out to Oakville to have our pictures taken by my good friend Meghan. Huge plug for Meghan Liddle Photography here (http://www.meghanliddlephotography.com/) ...she is AMAZING! If you are in the Toronto area check her out...trust me. So Meghan met up with us at a beautiful park in Oakville, right along the water. If we were able to move to Toronto I would move to this particular part of Oakville, it was absolutely gorgeous. Oh, A would want me to remind you that we would both need some pretty spectacular jobs in order for us to AFFORD to buy a house there...but we could always just camp out in one of their beautiful parks! Meghan did a great job at keep the boys involved and excited about having their pictures taken and got (what I think) are some pretty great shots. We should have them back soon and I will post a few for everyone to see.

After our photo shoot we headed out to Niagara on the Lake. It was a bit longer of a drive than I had remembered and by this point the boys were tired of being stuck in a car so the details of that particular drive are currently being wiped from my memory. We had a great picnic when we arrived and let the boys blow off some steam by throwing rocks at seagulls. Really they were throwing rocks at the water...I think a few seagulls just happened to get in the way!

Unfortunately though eventually you have to get home...and the boys were not happy about that! Who can blame them though? It's tough for anyone to sit in a car for long periods of time...let alone three boys crammed in the back seat of a Honda Civic! Before we go on vacation next year we have promised the boys we will buy a bigger car...or a bus!

Vacation - Day 4

Ok...so yesterday I was too tired by the end of the day to write about what we did...and of course now I can't remember what we did yesterday. That's what happens when you have 3 children in 4 years...you loose your mind!

Ok wait...it's coming to me....or not. Apparently whatever we did yesterday during the day wasn't all that interesting, or at least not interesting enough to remind in my brain for more than 5 minutes!

We did go to a Blue Jays game, against the New York Yankees. The boys had a pretty good time, that's to say that J had an amazing time and the other two had fun playing their Gameboys at a baseball stadium. Unfortunately the combination of excitement and too many Fuzzy Peaches was too much for T...he puked on the lovely couple in front of us. Yes, you read that right...he puked, everywhere. And by every where I mean EVERYWHERE. There was a trail from our seats to the bathroom, and then a horror scene in the bathroom. Then the two of us headed back to our seats where A was shamelessly hanging his head hoping people didn't think he was with us and T fell asleep. His puked on clothes against my puked on clothes...we must have smelled great to the people around us...and then he fell asleep. Out cold, unconscious asleep. So we all enjoyed the rest of the game (5 more innings!) and then I realized that we still had to get home. We had to walk the 15 city blocks to get there. Oops! I hadn't really thought so far ahead to think about what we would do if someone fell asleep, and knowing my children and their ability to fall asleep just about anywhere, I should have thought that far ahead!

So we headed out on our adventure home...2 adults (one stinking of puke), one puke covered sleeping 5 year old, a 6 year old with a flashlight (for safety!) and an almost 8 year old who couldn't stop laughing at the transvestite that we passed as we left the stadium. All I can say is it was a rather humorous walk home. Oh...and result of carrying a 48lb child 12 blocks? Numb arms and wrenched lower back...in case you were wondering.

Vacation - Day 3

Today was not a day of huge plans, but just a take it easy kind of day...because isn't that what vacations are all about? A and I were both saying to eachother today that we're going to need a vacation from our vacation!

The boys (all 4 of them!) spent the first part of the morning killing cyborgs on the Xbox and then we headed out to Centre Island for some beach fun. The rest of the day was spent seeing how much sand the boys could fit into their bathing suits (and all other sorts of places not to be mentioned!) and seeing how far wet sand can be thrown as opposed to dry sand. For the record, both can be thrown further than I thought!

And the biggest excitement of the vacation...Connor and Ty have learned to swim! Last night we headed down to the pool and before we had a chance to take off our shoes Connor jumped into the pool! A and I were both about to jump in to save the drowning child when he started swimming! We both stood there and stared at each other....when did that happen?!?!? Connor pulled himself out of the pool and looked at us like "what the hell is wrong with you people?!?!?!" Apparently he decided that Sunday was a good day to start swimming! Of course, Ty, not wanting to be outdone decided he too was going to start swimming. He all but drowned himself a few times, but he too is now a swimmer. A and I have come to two conclusions: 1 - we are going to be spending more time that we'd planned in the pool at the house and 2 - I gave birth to fish.