Friday!

It's Friday, yeah! We get so excited about Fridays, another week of work is done and a (hopefully) beautiful weekend is just around the corner. We get to sleep in (if we're lucky) and not be rushed with all the weekday craziness that surrounds us (especially if you have kids!) But Fridays to me are even more exciting...it's the day that the boys come home!

We currently have a week on, week off schedule that switches on Fridays. I drop the boys off at daycare on Friday morning and their father picks them up in the afternoon, and then I have a long seven sleeps until they are back home. This is the hardest part about my divorce. The being alone was hard, but I got used to that and now embrace my freedom. The anger and bitterness of where my life ended up was hard, but I got through that as well and now am a stronger person because of it. The loss of two of my best friends was horrible, but I got through that too. But my children being away from me for 7 whole days, 168 hours, is torture. Pure hell. I thought that it would get better as time passed...we've been doing this for almost two years now. But I'm finding that as time goes by it gets harder. I feel like I'm missing out on their lives by being away from them for so long, and they always look a little bit older when they come home. It makes me sad. Ty's teacher this year, Mrs. I (amazing teacher btw!) started sending out daily emails to the parents so we would know what our children had been doing each day. Those emails often got me through some of the harder days, at least I felt like I was getting a little peek into what was going on in Ty's life when I wasn't around. I only wish more teacher's did this, for people like me who are terribly missing their kids but so parents can have more insight into what their children are doing at school.

I struggle knowing that there is another woman in their lives who acts like "mom" when I'm not there. She gets to kiss their knees when they fall off a bike, she cuddles them on the couch when they watch their favorite shows, and tucks them into bed at night and wishes them sweet dreams. It's not like I expected such a creature never to enter their lives, I always knew that this would one day happen. I just never expected it to hurt as much as it does.

So, today is Friday, yeah! My boys come home and I get to feel whole again. Tonight I will just sit and watch them as they play in the yard and marvel at how much bigger they've gotten in seven days. This weekend I will cuddle them an extra bit and remind them how much I love them. And this week when life is crazy and hectic with it being the last week of school and all our sporting events I will try and slow down and enjoy my children a little bit more.