10 years ago today

I have been trying to find the words...something elegant or even witty to say about Jacob turning 10. And they are all but escaping me. I'm still finding it hard to believe that I have been someone's mother for an entire decade.

Maybe the words will come to me as the day progresses. As I remember just exactly what I was doing and how I was feeling at this moment 10 years ago. So for now I will just say Happy Birthday Jacob. You make this world a better place to be just because you are in it. Mommy loves you.

Ramblings of a busy mom

A friend of mine posted this on her blog and I couldn't help but copy and paste it here...mostly as a reminder to myself. I often times find myself so busy with 'life'...have to get the boys to school, daycare, hockey, soccer, have to get myself to work or a meeting or just finish this proposal. Have to get home, make dinner, clean the bathroom, mow the lawn. I am constantly thinking 18 steps ahead and wondering what's next? Where do I need to be? What do I need to do? I forget to stop and enjoy my life. I forget to stop sweating the little things and enjoy my children, and the beauty that is my life. They are at this moment 9, 8 and 7. When I say that to people they look at me like I have 6 heads and they say "wow, you must be busy! Are you crazy?" Sometimes I feel crazy...when life is whipping by at a million miles an hour...it's days like those that I have to remind myself to stop and enjoy that my boys are 9, 8 and 7 because they will never be these ages again and I will miss this time. This is my reminder...to enjoy where we are right this moment and stop thinking 18 steps ahead.

The funny thing about writing in a blog is that you're putting your words out there into cyber-world not knowing who is going to read them or how they will interpret what you're trying to say. (Which is part of the reason I have stayed away from here for so long...lots to say but not sure how to say it) I for one am notorious for taking 15 minutes to say what could very well me said in 2 minutes because I just can't find the right words or don't want the first thing that pops into my head to be mis-understood. I'm one of those people who has to work really hard to remember to use my filter...because honestly, walking down the street with me you are likely to hear me say "do you not own a mirror? And if you did, did you not look at it this morning?" Honest, yes. Appropriate, no.

I'm struggling with finding the right words right now in my life. I've been trying to explain something to someone but I don't want it to come out the wrong way or be mis-understood. I'm struggling between allowing three words to speak volumes and trying to quantify that with something more. When is enough, enough. When is less more?

The boys and I have had a number of changes in our lives since the last time I wrote in my blog...and sometimes saying nothing is more powerful than finding the perfect words.